Horton Hears a Who

What I've Seen: Two trailers and Horton's appearance on American Idol

The Book: Read it on numerous occassions, sometimes aloud.

Grade (the fewer the Zs, the better): Zzzzzzzzzzz(11) out of a possible Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(25)

What happens when you throw a bunch of comedic geniuses (their words, not mine) into a voice-over room for a couple hours? I'm not sure either, but this movie is not very good. It's embarrassingly long; I could read the book 3x before the credits roll.

Jim Carrey needs to stick to his forte and make another The Majestic.

According to a select group of my pre-school students at JELV, there just simply is not enough potty-humor (hence the G-rating).

I always like to end with some positives, so here goes it. It does rhyme occassionally, and I have to stand by the underlying message of "a person is still a person, no matter how small."

Bottom Line: Wait till it comes out on DVD and use 10 minute segments as rewards for young children learning to pee in the potty.

This Blog: It's Role, It's Position, and It's Importance

Let's start with a list, shall we? The following is a list of things that people are always telling me:

1. You need to blog more!
2. I need to go potty.
3. You make a lot of lists, and you are pretty darn good at it!
4. You should be a movie critic.

Well, here we are. This blog will be dedicated to the cinema and my critiques of the cinema. You should know that I don't make it to the theatre very often, so most of these reviews will be for movies that are available in video stores or on the tube. You should also know that I most likely have only seen bits and pieces of the movies I review...possibly only a trailer.

Before I let you go, I will give you a chance to familiarize yourself with your critic. So here is a list of some movies and a short review of each:

My Favorites (movies I would watch again)
Home Alone II: Lost in New York: Loved it! Surprisingly, it's better when watched on television, preferably WGN, during the summer.
Dumb and Dumber: That one guy at his finest and that other guy at his darndest.
The Sting: They were in cahoots the whole time! SPOILER ALERT!

My Least Favorites (movies I probably haven't even seen)
LOTR Series (this includes all sequels and prequels): Snoozer(s).
Jeremiah Johnson: To quote the Newsboys, I "lost the plot."
Saw: Disgusting. Covered my eyes for about 95% of the 10-15 minutes I saw...you do the math.

A sneak peek of next week's critique:
Horton Hears A Who: This generation's Fantasia or malarki?